Mexican Grandma

[Story courtesy of Ben Cadena, San Jose, Califas]

During a trial in a small town in South Texas , the prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly Mexican abuelita to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Senora Sanchez, do you know me?"

She responded, "si, I know you Mr. Williams. I know you since you were a mocoso chorriado, and frankly you've been a big disappointment to me, to your family and to your community. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people, and you think you're a big shot when you are nada, pura basura. Yes, I know you baboso."

The lawyer was stunned, not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, Mrs. Sanchez, "do you know the defense attorney?" again she replied, "claro que si. I've known Mr. Rodriguez since he was a mocoso travieso too. He's a lazy bueno pa nada, and he has a drinking problem. He can't keep a normal relationship with nobody, and he is the most pendejo lawyer in the state. And not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different viejas corrientes. One of them was your wife! You member? I know Mr. Rodriguez; his mama is not proud of him tambien."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge then asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "if either of you cabrones ask her if she knows me, i'll send you to the electric chair."

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